By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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