McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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