i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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