He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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