I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize