i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
