Having a random hookup so left but love u
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
