And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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