Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
