i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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