I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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