He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
kristin has been a bad kristin
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
