clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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