But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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