i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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