He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
