yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
