can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
