i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
