Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize