What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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