I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
