your parents love me but you hate me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
