if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
