Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
