id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i will never coherently bang her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize