too bad you live with your parents still
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
