next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
