Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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