Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I see more hoeing in ur future
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