oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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