dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
