My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
