allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize