Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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