feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize