Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people