so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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