dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
