aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize