can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
