I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
