Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
