My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
