I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
