I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She said her name was "party"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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