youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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