She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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