real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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