someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
