he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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