my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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