The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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