can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
