you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
