yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
