we have pet lesbian snakes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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