pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
