I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
