I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
