Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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