so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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