That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
