i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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