I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
