I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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