dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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